Viaggio in Islanda

How do you know if he or she is the perfect one? Is the one that you’ve been waiting for? Who can determines that? Who sets the measurement? What if your decision was so wrong. What if you just discovered the mistake after you have maintain that relationship for quite long time? How do you escape? Are you dare enough to put the pain on someone who is loving you but you can’t love them back? How not to trapped in this situation? And what should we do if we have already trapped??

We often hard to use our logical thinking when it comes to love. Especially for woman. They put their heart fully control their action. When they have been disappointed by someone they really love, they will avoid that kind of guy in their future, they are willing to change their type of guy which they thought it will help their soul enough. Unfortunately, they are so wrong. Maybe they can set their mind to follow what they want, but the match doesn’t come from their mind, but it’s from their heart which need their logical mind to get their fit in their heart. I know the sentence is so complex, but lets make it simple with this situation case:

Actor: A -> Bad boy kind, fun, energetic, challenging, smart, easy going, charming
Actor: B -> Good boy, serious, wise, old-fashioned, a bit cocky, homy kind of one
Actress: C -> The girl whose trapped with the wrong one

Here is the story goes:
Actress C likes a bad kind of boy like Actor A. One day, she met Actor A and falling in love then they’re committing their relationship. Actress C so in love with Actor A and feel totally comfy because she can be a whole herself with all her darkest side. She even can do bad challenging things together with Actor A. But as the time goes by, the naughty Actor A tries to play with a fire and get burnt! Actress C knows about that she is being cheated then she was in a total broken heart and live this naughty Actor A and move on her life by commit to herself not to date that kind of guy ever again in her life! Then unconsciously, Actress C has changed her type of guy to a homy good kind of guy.
As the time has passed, Actress C met a homy kind of guy like Actor B. Since there will be more than one Actor B, so let call it as B1, ... Bn. So she met Actor B1. She never fall in love with this guy coz it’s totally nor her type! But she force herself to see the bright side that she will never get cheated anymore and will be fully loved. But she forgets if she will not be loved as who she really is, but what Actor B1 thinks who angel heart is she. So, as long as she is dating Actor B1, she must acts like a totally perfect angel cute nice and sweet girl. Slowly, time proves the lack of Actor B1, how cocky, arrogant, and not friendly he is to others. So, Actress C feels uncomfy and decides to leave Actor B1.
I just realize if there will also more than 1 Actor A, so lets use the Actor B rule. After Actress C left Actor B1, she met Actor A2 which is totally her type! But poor her, too afraid of her “what if” thought so she decided not to continue her relationship with Actor A2 and choose Actor B2 which she thinks will be better for her.
So here she is, maintains her relationship with the boring Actor B2 for quite long time that dosn’t even make her feel comfortable even Actor B2 loves her so much! She even now wondering if Actor B2 really loves her or just have great passion to have her and keep her to be his or Actor B2 really loves her so much but doesn’t know how to treat lady right because he never be in that many relationship before. He just needs love guru advice how to show love to a lady.

The End --

Quite boring with the story above? Well, I’m just trying to give an illustration of the condition that I try to explain. Okay, now lets move to the problem solving.

HOW TO AVOID!

This section is for those whose not being trapped yet but is about to start the relationship with this kind of situation. To avoid this, don’t let your fear drives you. Your fear of your last fail relationship. Your fear of experiencing the same old broken heart. Your fear of being disappointed by something that you don’t know exactly. Something that you haven’t prove yet. Something which only under your emotional assumption. Don’t judge all people with the same type is the same! No, they’re totally not same! You need to explore more to know their heart. You can dig it start from their past. Use your brain, not your emotion. If you judge all these people will brake you just the same way with the other one, and you pass them just because too afraid of your fear being broken, actually it’s the time when you start to fail yourself with another black hole. You might not be broken hearted by the same way, but you will be suffer for the rest of your life feeling sorry to pass your chance to be happy with someone who you really love and love you back and the most important thing makes you comfortable. Even there is a possibility of being broken 50%, but there also 50% possibility for being happy. But you totally pass that chance and choose to live your miserable life with guilty and force to fit in. The point is DON’T LET YOUR FEAR OF YOUR PAST DRIVES YOUR BRIGHT FUTURE!!! BE BRAVE TO TAKE CHANCES!!

HOW TO ESCAPE!

Okay, now you have choose to live with someone which is totally not your type but you believe you’ll be happy by being loved even though you can’t love them back because you think being loved is more than enough then now you have realized how stupid you are living in suffer. At least you’re not that dumb still force yourself to stay, but try to escape from your curse.
It needs totally brave heart and dare enough to see tears and pain on someone whose loving you but you can’t love them back. Well, the very classic way is to told them that you’re not good enough to them and they deserve someone much better than you that can love them back as much as they do. But do you know when you’re saying that is the moment when that loving person will stop loving people with all their heart? They will be the next you! So, what the right way then??? The right way really need sacrifice from your good image. You have to show them how bad you are without hurting them. You have to show the side of you that they really don’t like to see. For instance, if they don’t like smoker, then smoke as much as you can whenever you with them. JUST DO THINGS THAT THEY DON’T LIKE AND ARGUE ALL WORDS COME OUT THEIR MOUTH! I bet no one will stand you that long, but there is a price you have to pay, it’s your good image! It’s not easy and a lot to pay but at least it’s worth it for a good lesson in life. Just don’t do the same mistake in the future.