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As the time goes by, many unexpected moments take place as the part of my past and some of it that haven't happened yet has booked a place in my future. No body know what will happen then. Unexpected moments can always be happened to any one... And it's unavoidable.
I thought my life will go straight in path. Even I ever feel hmble for getting a good girl part all the time. But it's not until I taste the bitter side of life... Of hopes... Of love... I used to be a very loving and caring person. I could love someone or something with all my heart. In return, I always get disappointed and play the fool girl scene. It happens over and over till one day I promise myself to love ME more than anyone or anything. Then unconsciously, I switch over become the heartless evil witch!
I feel love no more, I feel hurt no more, and I care no more. I feel like have a duty to destroy those kind of people who making me like this. I blame them for who I am now. And I need to give them the most painful revenge ever! No one deserves to hurt me. If people nice to me then I will be much more nicer to them, but once they hurt me then I will make them suffer and sorry for being born!
Play the role as the heartless evil witch doesn't make me feel any good. I feel like totally mess stranger who lost her way. I need to help myself. I need to get up and see the sun rise to feel loving life again. I'm not evil, and I wasn't born to be it. One thing I realize how to fix myself is to forgive myself. For give myself for being such a dumb. Well, actually it's not a dumb, but it's just the process in life that I have to get through.
To life strongly in this hard world. To learn from my very precious life lesson. I try to love again. To open my heart to someone who at first told me that he love me. To give a chance to myself to face my biggest fear of trusting and loving someone which obviously will have probability of being hurt and disappointed.
Apparently, it's trully gives me some heartache and disappointments in which I promise myself to face it, not to run from it and try to see the bright side from the darkness. Behind the tears I found the very precious lesson to take. I discover many truth even its hurting or teasing, but the point is, if I'm wise enough to see from many point of view, I will see light that will turn my tears to laugh. Giggling of the fools I've done and think how beautiful life is with its thousand unique tales.
Behind the tears we will find strength, undiscovered happiness, and precious lesson. 
If you ever feel the same, don't give up of trying to forgive ourselves (which is the hardest section ever), keep go on, keep learning from life and tears, and keep open your heart for many new lesson a head. The stronger we are, the harder life lesson kick us. Just remember, whenever you feel life is so hard and unfair, it means you are special and strong enough to get it all through... Even the worst storm will always ends with beautiful rainbow...  |
